I have been neglecting heileng..

I have been neglecting heileng..
Sorry..
I have been stubborn..
PLaying with my back bone..
Thou i suffered.. But you shouldnt..
I have so many to said but yet my mind went blank..
I have been thinking much lately..
Passing my time now a day is killing me..
I see no aims and motivation..
To hell to whom ever is pressing my face hard to the floor..
I will lie in supine position to see the sky clearly despite humilated..
I see myself suffering, i experience the suffering..
Will you stab me in my heart and stop my suffering?
I have so many things to decide and to do..
But i have been avoiding them..
I have become a no emotion and pulled back person..
Do i wanna keep on behaving like this?
I JUST WANNA PLAY NOW!
If i can, i'll make you mine..
I'll be stronger..
I'll work til i die..
I'll sick again for holidays..

-Clkl-