I really work very hard lerx..

Hei leng.. I don't feel that good right now.. I'm in a state where i don't know what is right for me lerx.. I did not give up but I'm feeling very difficult to move on. I'm not even sure about the reason myself.. Could it be all the tiny matters that add up causing me to be in this state? I'm like a robot working and doing base on schedules.. However I'm still good on the outer covers. ^^ After all, that's what a drama girl would do to be strong, and that's me, my character.
Let's try to see some reasons.. That i some how realise today. Really some nia.
Today while sending Hong lin and Eric to school, some how there's a very strong feeling within me that causes me to be rather upset.. The moment i look at the kids, it reminds me of one month later or so, i will have to part with the them and everyone there. I already started to miss those imps. -.-
On the way to work early morning, i was wondering whether i could really get in Nursing and seeing myself becoming a future nurse.. *Laugh, will I? I don't even think I'm capable as i know that I'm blur.
I swear to myself to be 'dao' when i left secondary school.. Did i? Right now moving into ITE soon, I'm still that soft and weak.. Damn.
Still considering about quitting of thiong.. But i think when i get in to ITE see my schedule then see how.
My mom is still not understanding, seems to be very hard for me to actually communicates with her.
Dad came home to sleep, it actually hinders me from taking clothes from my wardrobe, but i kept it silence.. Cause he works at night, very tire too, don't wanna disturb his sleep. But sometimes i really hope to sleep earlier. (My hair dry very slow.)
I'm tire too.. I think i am very selfish..
I have been ignoring xiao xing for quite some time.. Thanks dad for helping me to clean his cage.
I don't have enough time to spend with everyone.. Today i walk pass a shop, thought of buying those baking cups, thinking of cooking for my family.. But, i remember my schedule doesn't allow me to do so, walked away feeling dejected.
I did not meet up with TXY, caiwei........ very long lerx. I have always wanted to help yuting in studies as i have the resources.. But i don't have the courage..
More and more and more.. I can create a book.. 'haha'..
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Yesterday work thiong, first time do bar + cashier.. -.- Runner was Samantha, had fun together, a lot i think!
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Today work at MTC, was really angry with Justin for a moment.. Ignore him for quite a while.. Hui Bing too.. Sorry! He ate(chicken wing) with his hand which was very oily.. He joined in Hui Bing and me in playing.. AND HE WIPES HIS OILY HAND ON MY SHIRT!! Some more this shirt was given by fur.. Damn angry at the moment.. So i walk away.. Went to print some worksheet for myself to improve my English.. ^^ Also some for them to do..
Help to give tuition today for 3 hours.. Earn 24 bucks. Spend it on a 2.80 watch(as i broke mine early in the morning today), 17 on bag(preparing for ITE) and 3 for Ramily burger.. Saved 1.20! Hui Bing and I went night market together.. ^^
Max wanted me to help him push sales.. So tomorrow schedule will be like this:
7-11.30 MTC
11.30-12 Travels to tampines
12-2.30 or 3 At tampines promote his center
3-4 Travels to thiong
4-10 Work at thiong[TPS]
After work may be joining crews and ex-crews to island to relax a bit.. I treated it as a mini holiday.. hoho.
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What a long post.. No photos to be uploaded here.. Oops! (Using com, my new phone got no adapter.. Sucky!) But i got so many photos waiting to upload.. hehe
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Reached home just now.. Mom nag at me said i keep spend money buying bag.. -.- Hate her!! I since secondary 4 never buy bag lo! Lucky bro help say her a bit.. Only she calms when bro talks. I can only make her speechless in arguments. BIAS! Poor sis.. Have to face her more than me.. ^^
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I really think that i improve a lot in controlling myself not to any how spend my money on 'charity'. (When i buy, they earn!) Just now i wanted to buy a tube dress very much, after standing at the shop for 10mins and visiting the shop two time, I still walked away.. Hehe. I also never anyhow spend.. Only sometimes go out, spend a bit. Last time worked LJS, once pay was out will spend till finish de.. You can see the different a not? Stupid mom. Next time want 'comment' me, say yourself and look at yourself first k! I really work very hard lerx..
I now also financial tight still must survive with myself on my food fee, adults fare, school fee.. Won't spend money on want but need.. and a bit after a very long time to make myself happy! :)
Lastly i never mentioned anything about not giving you money for bills lor! You said yourself de.. Make yourself 'hot' saying all the negatives to me for no purpose.. End up making everyone unhappy.. Your craps is really very deafening to my ears..

Clkl